Memories
by Trini08
Summary: Dean remembers some of the important moments in his life. DeanOC rating uped a bit, getting a bit dark.
1. Dean

**This is set five years in the future. Hope you like.

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Dean sat on the couch in his apartment, it was 6 am and he couldn't sleep. It'd been 3 years since he decided to settle down, start a family, but he never quit hunting. After Dean and Sam had found their father, it was a little easier for the two of them to have a somewhat normal life. They took turns hunting with dad and the only times that all three of them went on jobs was when the other two got stuck. He sat there and thought about all that had happened in the last five years since his dad had disappeared and he went to Sam for help. He smiled at the memories, knowing now that his life had been changed forever. His thoughts were interrupted by the cry of his infant son, Ben, in the other room. _Three months old today_, Dean thought as he got up to go get him. He picked up the small infant and held him close in his arms.

"What's the matter Ben? Ya hungry, huh, is that it?" He said, carrying him to the kitchen to get a bottle. The baby quickly settled down after getting his bottle and Dean sat back down on the couch with him.

"I'm gonna have so much to teach you when you get older, kiddo. Then you, me, Uncle Sammy and Grandpa can all go out hunting together." He smiled down at Ben, who watched him contently with his bottle.

"I remember the day we found out that you were coming. I was so excited I called every family member that I knew off and told them."

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FLASHBACK

_Lexi got up from bed and ran straight for the bathroom. She hadn't been feeling good for a few days, but she thought it was just stomach flu, she got that a lot. After throwing up all of the nice breakfast-in-bed her husband had made her she went back to bed and curled up next to him._

"_Are you ok, baby?" He asked._

"_Yeah, Dean, I just think its stomach flu. Wouldn't be unusual, what with working at the hospital and everything. I get them a lot, its nothing."_

"_Ok, maybe you should call in sick for the day, you need rest. Plus you don't want to get anyone else sick."_

"_Yeah, sounds good. Maybe I'll just rest a bit and then go shopping, that always calms me down."_

_Dean laughed, his wife loved shopping, but she had control, he knew she wouldn't spend too much._

"_Ok, sounds good. I'm gonna be doing some research with Dad and Sam. We still haven't decided who has the next trip since we needed all three of us for the last one and even then we needed to call you in for help." He was happy he could tell his wife anything and that she knew about the hunting and the evil. She was a nurse and was great to have around because they all got hurt a lot._

_After resting until noon, Lexi felt better and called up Meg, Sam's girlfriend, and asked her to go shopping. They spent the afternoon at the local shops. While they were sitting at a café, Lexi told Meg how she'd been sick for the past few days._

"_Oh my God! Are you pregnant?" Meg asked._

"_What? No, I can't be. Dean and I have only been married for less than a year, we decided to wait to have kids."_

"_Yeah, but the way you two go at it every time he comes back from a hunting trip, I wouldn't be surprised."_

_Lexi laughed, she was right. "Okay, let's go get a test."_

_She couldn't believe it looking at the stick on the counter in the bathroom. It was positive. Just then she heard Dean in the living room. She ran out to greet him, jumping into his arms._

"_Baby, what is it? Is everything ok?" He asked, confused._

"_Dean, I'm pregnant! We're gonna have a baby!"

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_

Dean was snapped out of his memory by the baby in his arms fussing again. He lifted it up to his shoulder and burped it.

"Those next eight months felt like an entire lifetime. I couldn't wait for you to be born, neither could your mom. We want so bad to hold you, to see you, to hear your little voice. You were our world before you were even born."

He moved the baby back into his arms so he could look into his little face. Ben watched his father and smiled. Dean smiled back; he loved his baby so much and wouldn't let anything ever hurt him.

"But when you were born, your mother and I were petrified." He said "We were out on a hunting trip, your mom insisted on coming with me. She didn't want me going alone and Sam and Grandpa were off on their own hunting trip. I should have known better, you were already almost a week past your due date."

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FLASHBACK

"_Stay in the car, Lexi, I don't want anything happening to you or our baby." Dean said, grabbing some stuff out of the trunk._

"_Dean, you could get hurt, you shouldn't be out there alone. Why couldn't you have just waited until your father and brother got back?"_

"_I just couldn't. Now stay here, yell for me if there's trouble." He kissed his wife before running into the house they were parked in front of. She didn't even know what this demon was, but Dean felt the need to come after it alone. She sat there for what felt like an eternity. She flipped stations on the radio, Dean hated it when she messed with the radio, but if he was going to leave her here she was going to listen to whatever she wanted to. Suddenly the worst possible thing happened. She panicked for a minute before rolling down the window._

"_DEAN!" She yelled_

_He heard his wife and turned around and shot the being in the heart three times with sliver bullets. He ran out to the car to find his wife standing outside, leaning against the door._

"_Baby, what's wrong?" he asked, panicked._

"_My water just broke! The baby is coming, and it's coming NOW!"_

_At the Hospital_

_Dean got Lexi a wheelchair and pushed her into the hospital, surrounded by nurses. She screamed with every contraction, which were getting longer and closer together. They got her up to the Maternity ward as quick as possible._

"_It's ok Lexi. Just breathe baby, just breathe." Dean said, trying to calm her._

"_Breathe! You try breathing when your entire abdomen is bursting with pain!" She screamed back at him._

"_Ok, Mrs. Winchester, time for you to push. Ok take a deep breath and push."_

_She screamed as she pushed. It only took a few pushes before baby Ben was born._

"_Congratulation Mr. and Mrs. Winchester, you have a beautiful baby boy. What's his name?"_

"_Ben, our baby boy's name is Ben."_

* * *

"Your mom always liked the name Ben. I don't know why, but she insisted we name you Ben." He said. Just then he heard a knock on the door. He knew who was at the door, so he just yelled that it was open. He looked up as his brother walked in.

"Dean, you have to get dressed, its time to go." Sam said

"I know, but if I don't go it's not real." Dean said back, holding the baby closer.

"C'mon, you know that's not true as much as I do. You have to go."

"I don't want to go to my wife's funeral, is that so terrible? I can't do it Sammy, I just can't."

Sam flinched at the nickname, he hated it but he'd let Dean call him that for now. He knew basically how Dean felt; he had felt the same way after Jess died, although he was sure Dean felt worse. Sam sat down on the couch next to Dean.

"It's gonna be ok, I promise, we'll find what killed her."

"We know what killed her. The same thing that killed mom, the same thing that killed Jess. We know what it is, we just can't find it. Any woman we love is killed by this thing. Be careful, Meg's gonna be next."

Sam sighed, he was right, it was the same thing. They wanted to believe that because they were all killed at different times in their lives that the deaths weren't related. But they were.

"Dean, just give me Ben and go get dressed. Trust me, you need to say goodbye." Sam sighed and held his arms out for the baby. Dean handed him Ben and walked over to the other room.

"I don't like this suit. Actually I don't like suits at all, remember?"

"Tough, just put the thing on. Where's that thing me and Meg bought for Ben?"

"It's over on the table. I don't like that thing either; he's only 3 months old."

Dean emerged from the bedroom in a black suit. Sam had changed Ben into the little black pants and white shirt they had bought him. Dean wrapped Ben in a white blanket and placed him in his carrier.

"Let's get this over with." He sighed, carrying the baby carrier out to the car.

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Please r&r, thanks. 


	2. Sam

**Hey, back again. I know this ones short, but i figured that this was a memory that had to be told, and it took a while to write. I'll probably write atleast one more chapter, from Dean's POV again, with more flashbacks and they might actually get this eveil thing. Well, hope u like this chapter.**

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Sam stood next to his brother in front of Lexi's grave. He looked around at all the people there, friends and family. It was a sunny, warm day out. _I'd actually consider today to be a nice day if I weren't at my sister-in laws-funeral. _He thought. Sam had always liked Lexi, she was the type of person he knew Dean needed. Sam had loved Lexi as a sister; they were practically twins they were so close in age, she being only a month younger than Sam. He listened as the pastor read some passages from the bible and said a few prayers. After, Dean got up to say a few words, although anyone there could tell it was killing him inside just to be there.

"Lexi was always a wonderful woman." He started. "She stood by me in good times and bad. Sometimes I wish she hadn't because sometimes it got her hurt, and I couldn't stand seeing her hurt."

These words brought back the memories of the first time that Lexi had been seriously hurt during a hunt.

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FLASHBACK 

"_Ok, we know this thing is in there somewhere. Lexi, you take the first floor, I'll take the basement and Sam, you take the second floor. If you see it, well, we all know what to do to distract and deter it until we can all get there." Dean said as they stood before the house. They had come here on a job, which they had already finished, but had found a new one there. All three grabbed their gear and headed in._

_Lexi walked the first floor of the house, checking each room thoroughly. She knew Dean and Sam were doing the same things on their floors, after all she had been taught by them. Suddenly she was surprised by the spirit. She fired at it, but missed and was thrown across the room. She hit the back wall with a crash as se shattered the large mirror and hit the floor with a thud. Both Sam and Dean heard her fire and ran to help. They knew they couldn't defeat it, at least not right away, and Dean saw how badly hurt Lexi was. They grabbed her and got out of there, they could fight that thing later._

_At a Motel Room._

"_Dammit Dean, she needs medical attention!" Sam shouted, gesturing towards the still unconscious Lexi lying in one of the beds. It had been a few hours since they had gotten back to the room, and she hadn't woken up._

"_No, she'll be fine. How are we supposed to get her help? How do we explain her injuries? Oh yeah, she got thrown across a room by a murderous spirit and fell against a mirror." Dean said softly, sitting beside her._

"_We can say that we saved her from an abusive boyfriend or something, she needs help."_

_Dean looked up at him and Sam could see the worry in his eyes. He sighed and looked back at Lexi, then nodded, scooping her still body up in his arms and carrying her out to the car._

_At the hospital._

_Lexi had been admitted, under a false name of course. She has multiple cuts and bruises all over her body from the shards of the mirror and a concussion from being thrown into the wall. Sam sat patiently by her bedside in a chair while Dean paced nervously._

"_The doctors said she would wake up, why hasn't she? There's something wrong." He said._

"_If there were something wrong the doctors would be doing something. Concussions are unpredictable, you know that." Sam replied calmly._

"_I can't take this anymore; I'm gonna go find someone." Dean said as he stormed out._

_Sam sighed and turned to look at Lexi. All she had was an IV and a heart monitor, if there were something wrong there would be more machines or monitors. Right? He scooted the chair closer to the bed and took her hand in his._

"_Lexi, you need to wake up, Dean's going nuts with out you. You mean a lot to him, heck, you mean a lot to me too. You're like a sister to me. Neither one of us can live with out you. You're our mediator when we fight, our voice of reason when we get carried away. You're so much to both of us, but you're everything to Dean. He won't say it now, but he loves you, and not in the same way he loves me. Please, Lexi, we can't live with out you, we need you, wake up." He rested his head on her hand and sighed. He jumped when he thought he felt movement under his forehead. He looked up and saw Lexi's eyes fluttering open._

"_Sam?" She whispered.

* * *

_

Sam looked over at his brother and he could see the tears welling up in his eyes. Dean never cried, he grew up having to be strong for Sam's sake. Dean hadn't cried at his wedding or when his son was born, and he hadn't even cried the night his wife died. He watched Dean take a deep breath before he continued. 

"I loved her with all my heart, I know now that the time I had with her was precious. I wouldn't have traded a single minute of that time for anything else in the world. Now I'd trade the world for just one more minute with her. Goodbye Lexi, until we meet again." Dean finished, placing a red rose on her casket.

Sam stepped forward and placed the one he had in his hand on it as well, followed by everyone else there. He turned to Dean, who had picked up his son from the carrier and held him closely, still trying to fight back the tears. Sam walked over to his brother and put a hand on his shoulder. Dean turned to him and finally let go of the tears he had been holding in since Lexi's death. Sam didn't take his hand away from his brother's shoulder, letting him know that it was ok to cry, he needed to.

"This isn't fair, Sam. How am I supposed to go on with out her? How am I supposed to raise him alone?" Dean said, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"You're not alone Dean, you have me and dad and Meg, we'll all be more than happy to help." Sam replied.

"All I want to do is quit, I just want to give up completely. But I have to find and stop this spirit or whatever it is that keeps killing the women we love." Dean said, placing Ben back in the carrier, picking it up and bringing it to the car. He turned and faced Sam again, who had followed. "We've got work to do, Sam. All three of us, we have to stop this thing."

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**Please R&R, thanks**


	3. Dean2

**Yeah, this chapter is kinda boring and its getting abit dark, sorry. Hope u still like it tho.**

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It had been days since the funeral. All three Winchester men worked constantly, trying to find a connection between Mary, Jess and Lexi, other than the fact that they loved one of them. They tried to find anything at all that could lead them to the demon or spirit or whatever they were after. They couldn't find a thing. Dean sat in the apartment, looking at the pictures he had with him. There was a row of three framed ones on the table in front of him. One on the day he proposed, one on their wedding day and one the day Ben was born. He picked them up one by one, looking at the changes between each one. There weren't many, seeing as though they only spanned about three years. He looked at the engagement party picture. They looked so happy, so carefree. Then he looked at the wedding picture, him and Lexi had only been engaged for less than a year before they got married. They both looked a little older, but not by much, they still looked so happy. He couldn't remember much about his wedding, that day had just been a blur. He thought back on what he could remember, and how happy he felt then.

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FLASHBACK

_Dean stood nervously at the front of the church. He was dressed in a tux, he hated dressing up. Sam stood patiently on his right, dressed similarly, only where Dean had a white boutonniere, Sam had a blue one. Dean almost jumped out of his skin when the music started. The first down the aisle was Lexi's niece, tossing white and blue flower petals out of a little white basket. Then came Meg, in a flowing dark blue dress with a matching bouquet of flowers that she clung to. The music changed as the double doors both opened, revealing Dean's beautiful bride, accompanied by Dean's father. He gasped at the sight of her; he had never seen her look so amazing in the whole time he'd known her. Time felt like it moved in slow motion as she walked down the aisle towards him. Once they reached the end of the aisle, John kissed her on the cheek and whispered something in her ear before giving her hand to Dean. He stood there in shock at how beautiful she looked._

"_Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Dean Winchester and Lexi Davidson." The preacher started. They had each written their own vows for the ceremony, they wanted this day to be special._

"_Lexi, from the first day we met, I fell in love with you. I know that we didn't quite get along at first, but we made it through all that. I loved you then, I love you now and I will love you for the rest of my life and after. I promise, Lexi, to be there for you everyday, to love you, honor you and support you in everyway possible."_

"_Dean, I love you with all my heart. You are the only man for me and I will never find another person on the face of this earth who can ever compare to you. My love for you will never die, I will love you forever. I promise, Dean, to stand by you everyday, to love you and only you until the day I die."_

_He lifted the veil over her face and kissed her before the pastor could finish "You may kiss the bride."_

* * *

Dean smiled, remembering how beautiful her face was. She looked like one of her porcelain dolls that day, unflawed, perfect. He walked over to the crib in the bedroom and picked up his sleeping son. He cradled the infant in his arms and rocked it.

"I won't let anything bad happen to you, I promise. I'll get this thing before it can hurt anyone you love. It's hurt me twice, Uncle Sam and Grandpa too. I won't let it happen to you." He said, sitting down at the kitchen table. The baby stirred momentarily but settled down again.

"You are the most important thing to me now. I will never let you down, not like my father did. I'll never disappear on you; I'll never leave you alone. I love you."

He kissed Ben on the top of his head and placed him in the carrier. Dean was leaving this apartment to go live with Sam and Meg, he couldn't stand it anymore. Anyway, this was only temporary until he could move back into the house he and Lexi had had. Truthfully, he wasn't sure if he wanted to go back there, to the memories that house held. Some were happy, like the day they moved in or the day they brought Ben home from the hospital. But that house held the worst memory of all, they day she died.

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FLASHBACK

_Dean got out of the shower and got dressed for bed. He walked into the bedroom where Lexi was sitting in bed with Ben in her arms. She looked up and smiled._

"_He was hungry." She said "Wouldn't go to sleep. Look's like he's done though. Do you mind taking him back to his room?"_

_She looked up at him with the look in her eyes that she knew could get Dean to do anything for her. He sighed and walked over, picking the baby up from her arms. He was sound asleep._

_He carried him over to the crib in the room across the hall. He placed the sleeping baby down and placed a blanket over him._

"_Hey little guy, sleep well. Sweet dreams baby boy." He said, leaning down to kiss him on the forehead. He walked back to his bedroom and saw Lexi wasn't in bed anymore. 'She musta gone to the bathroom' he thought, lying down in bed. He rolled over slightly, stretching his arm over where Lexi would always lie next to him. He felt something wet drip onto his hand, opened his eyes and saw the drop of blood. His eyes widened in panic. 'No!' he thought. 'If I don't look up, it's not real. If I don't see her then she's not dead and everything will be fine.'_

_He squeezed his eyes shut and rolled onto his back so he was facing the ceiling. He kept his eyes closed, knowing what he'd see if he dared open them. He wanted to cry. He shot his eyes open and saw her there._

"_NO!" he yelled. "NO! Why her, why now?"_

_He jumped out of bed as the ceiling started to burn and ran for his son. He scooped up the child and grabbed a blanket and ran out of the house, never looking back, not wanting to see the fire that was consuming everything he loved, save the tiny baby in his arms._

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When he got to Sam's place he looked him straight in the eye and told him that their first priority was to get this thing that killed their mother and Jess and Lexi.

"We have to stop it before it gets Meg or anyone else. I want this thing dead."

"I know, we'll find it and this time, we'll stop it." Sam said. "I called dad, he's on his way here. With all three of us after it now, it doesn't have a chance.

"Let's hope so, Sammy. Cause I don't ever want to go through this pain again, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy."

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**Hope u liked, one last chapter will be up later, dunno when. Please R&R. thanks**


	4. Autho Note

Just so ya'll know, i do plan on updating this story. eventually. i'm just no good when it comes to writing the stuff with demons and bad guys and all. I figure i'll wait til Shadows permires and then maybe i'll get some inspiration from that. Thanks, Jennie


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